November Updates

These past two months have been quite life changing for me. From the cysts diagnosis to the surgery, to the resignation and to the sale of my beloved car. I was shocked to know that I had cysts, because I never had complaints during my period. But I am grateful to find a competent gynecologist to handle the case, he's very calming also. Because panicking and hearing stuffs/myths about the disease is the last thing I need. Thanks to God, the surgery went well, I heard it took me about three hours to become conscious, some say it's quite fast (is it?). I was still very sleepy right after the surgery, it feels good though, because I couldn't feel the pain from the stitches, I bet the drugs still worked. Then I got home three days after the surgery, I could still feel the uncomfortable and weird sensation caused by the stitches at that time. I also had to walk slowly (& slightly hunched) for about three weeks. I can't do any sports, not even Yoga, cannot wear high-heel shoes *sob*, cannot drive, and cannot walk up and down the stairs too much for about 40 days (the magical number 40 days, just like mothers who've just gone through delivery). Yet this condition makes me more grateful for being alive. That I could survive the surgery and things will get better eventually. Thankfully now my condition keeps improving.. ;).

Currently I'm staying at home because I have resigned from my job. There are lots of explanation & reason why I gave up the job. It's too personal so I won't elaborate it here. The bright side is, I can fully rest for my recovery after the surgery. Well, I can go here and there for awhile but I still feel much comfortable at home (read: I can go to the nearest mall).

Anyway, my car, my Suzuki Grand Escudo XL-7 is sold, finally. I was sad to know that there was a potential buyer willing to get the car ASAP. I thought the buyer will get it on December or something so I can have my last drive. That said, my last drive was on October 13, a day before the surgery, when I had to go to the hospital in the morning. He's been with the family since 2003 *I think* but I start to drive on May 2007, it's only been a year but I've loved him ever since. Although sometimes it's just so hard to navigate in a narrow parking space, I just love to drive it, it's so comfortable. I know I'm not the only one who say it. I know I don't have any comparison, this is the only car I ever drive by myself. The late Trooper & Panther was for practice, so it doesn't count. A lot of memories from the car, from my awkward driving until my not-so-awkward driving :P. A company when the girls decided to have a night out, because it's the biggest car that can accommodate up to 7 passengers. Even though I'm not the best driver in the bunch.. ^^. A friend for my Saturday morning Yoga class, with an on-again-off-again radio that I finally made peace with. A buddy for my inner city travel, through all the traffic jams, the impatient driver behind, the narrow street in Cilandak, the heat & everything that we've experienced together. This post is for you, hope you're doing well with the new owner, I'll always remember you..!

breathe me

Sia - Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Is it all because i fear so much? I am scared some bad experience will eventually repeated. It was all too much for me, to experience it once is more than enough, it was too painful.

b.o.r.e.d

argh, gue lagi bosen banget hari ini. well, tiap hari si gue bosen, karena gue tiap hari mesti di rumah, mengerjakan kp. what?? yep, i haven't finished my internship, byebye to this semester graduation x(. no one to blame though, maybe because i have to work at home, so that i got less motivated, i got bored easily at home, & when i got bored, i chat, i browse, i watch tv, i'd practically do anything to amuse me. like now, i decided to write something, hmpphh. padahal kerjaan gue tinggal dikit lagi *semoga*, tapi yang dikit ini yang ribet & gue pusing ajah tiap mo ngerjainnya, makanya pikiran gue suka bercabang kemana-mana.

anyway, gue cukup excited dengan jadwal tv beberapa bulan ke depan, hehehhehe, karena american idol 5 udah mulai, oc juga ada *meskipun udah aga' basi*, america's next top model 4 udah ada *basi juga* dan ada rerun rockstar: inxs. yay, gue mo liat marty casey nyanyiin creep & everlong, karena pas pertama kali diputer gue ngga ngikutin tiap episode :P. dan star world akhirnya bakal nayangin friends 10, setelah beberapa bulan rerun episode2 lama -_-, i miss 2 episodes on dvd, jadi gue harus ngikutin lagi di tv :D.

ok, enough with curhats & off to work now!

i don't need to know that, & u don't need to say that, especially to me.

KP oh KP

hua.. gue stress, ini KP pa kabar yak, pusing gue bikinnya. untuk menambah semangat, gue bikin ticker di atas, itu bukan graduation si maxudnya, tapi deadline pengumpulan laporan KP/TA/SP :)) *ketawa stress*.

about me, now

*abis liat blog ndiri* ternyata trakhir gue posting 2 bulan yang lalu ajah & kalo posting isinya juga dikit banget, why? karena gue emang mood2an :D, kalo mo posting ya posting, kalo ngga ya, gue cuekin aja ni blog, paling cuma liat2 blog orang & for some reasons gue juga jarang posting tentang personal life gue, well, maybe just a hint here & there :P. cos i think it's all too complicated to tell in a blog.

setelah hampir 2 bulan gue ngga nulis apa2 di sini *posting lirik lagu aja ngga*, udah banyaaak banget hal-hal yang terjadi dalam hidup gue. soal kuliah, student project gue udah selesai (& kuliah CAI gue berakhir dengan nilai C+, hix, kuliah terakhir gue C+, hix) dari akhir juli udah sidang, thanx 2 all of u guys & dhani juga :) *& all friends who support us in the process*. ini berarti kuliah gue tinggal 1, wajib pula 3 sks, yaituuu kerja praktek, ini si bukan kuliah sebenernya :P. jujur aja gue takut banget buat kerja praktek, takut gue ngga bisa ngerjain ndiri, hehehe, mana gue udah pengen lulus. setelah melihat-lihat jadwal semester ini, ternyata tanggal pengumpulan laporan kp/ta/sp itu tanggal 23 desember *shock pas baca*, jadi gue cuma punya waktu 3 bulan lebih dikit sajah untuk nyelesain sistem+laporan. aga'2 stress pas udah ngitung2 waktu pengerjaannya, mana gue susah banget buat konsen, kebayang dong kalo gue mesti kerja ndiri di rumah *kp nya bisa take home*. pasti banyak godaan ini itu, ya chatting lah, browsing lah, nonton tv lah, ada tamu lah. ahhh.... harus bekerja keras semester ini *semangat mode on*. sirik ajah pas tanggal 27 agustus kemarin ngeliat temen-temen gue pada wisuda T_T, makin sepi deh kampus, makin dikit de ce2 nya, total sekarang tinggal 4 ce di fasilkom 2001. ayo yang mo 4,5 taun, kita harus lulus semester iniiii :D:D

soal rumah, sejak gue pindahan akhir februari kemarin, udah banyak perubahan juga di rumah gue, dari yang tadinya gue numpang kamar di kamar ade gue, tiap hari tukang bangunan seliweran dalem rumah, rumah berdebu, sekarang gue udah di kamar sendiri *udah mayan lama si sbenernya* & gue udah berhasil membongkar smua kardus2 gue pas pindahan :D, berhubung nyokap makin lama makin sering komentar soal kamar gue yang masih berantakan, masih kaya pindahan, akhirnya gue merelakan waktu luang gue buat bongkar dua kardus terakhir yang isinya slide-slide kuliah, & banyak barang2 ngga penting :P. sekarang tinggal cari-cari kotak buat nyimpen barang2 itu, biar kamar gue bener2 clutter-free:D. rumah gue juga bisa dibilang selesai *akhirnya*, gue udah jarang liat tukang benerin ini itu yang kecil2. & oh yeah, my 2 dogs are about 5 months old now, anjing kalo umur segitu udah siap mating ya? ada yang punya 2 anjing ce yang umurnya sgitu juga ngga?:D, sebelum terjadi hal2 yang tidak diinginkan pada ke2 anjing gue, hueheuheuheu *iya, anjing gue dua2nya co*

soal personal life, still got nothing to say about this, maybe i got something to say, but i just wont say it here :P. & i just got this paranoia about my health, considering that i stayed at the hospital for a week in may & 2 weeks after that at home, yang ternyata karena gue sakit hepatitis A, katanya si karena gue kecapean, sering begadang, stress (ini kata gue), dll. sekarang ini gue mulai sering lagi begadang, pernah gue baru tidur jam 1/2 4 :D. padahal dulu pas abis sakit, gue tidur paling malem jam 12 kurang, pokoknya waktu itu gue bener2 tobat ngga mo begadang, tapi yaa, seiring berjalannya waktu, gue lupa ma tobat gue & sakit gue itu, & sekarang suka parno2 ndiri aja, takut kambuh sakitnya. it's only been 4 months since i got sick & now i'm back doing my bad habit.

that's all for now, gotta go doing some stuff for my internship, ta ta :]

it's saturday, it's 2 days before the student project deadline, it's just the perfect time to spend this 'lovely' evening at campus >_<

while deep down there's this urge to see a friend of mine to tell her about everything, before i'm going insane. i really need to see her. a.s.a.p

lagi-lagi lirik lagu

ok, i'm not gonna write anything important about my life, it's just another song lyric that i really like. ni lagu enak banget, dinyanyiin sama dave grohl (foo fighters) & louise post (veruca salt), it's one of those love songs sung by rock vocalists, one of reasons why i'm attracted to this song, hehe :P. ini lagu lama kok, udah dari taun 1997 kalo ngga salah, tapi baru sekarang gue dapet mp3 nya. it's a soundtrack from a movie called Touch, starring skeet ulrich & bridget fonda. gue udah lupa banget ceritanya kaya gimana^^, yang jelas dulu gue sempet nge fans sama skeet ulrich gara-gara dia main di scream. & here it goes... :)


dave grohl & louise post - touch

[louise]
Touch, light as a feather
I will wait for you honestly
I am yours entirely
I remember last night's dream
Could it be you're one of me?

[dave]
I have known
Your face inside the window
And the force forever in my heart
Like an angel's arrow

[louise & dave]
I remember last night's dream
Could it be you're one of me?
I've been waiting silently
Will you risk it all with me?

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

[louise & dave]
I have known (Touch, light as a feather)
Your face inside the window
And the force forever in my heart (I will wait for you honestly)
Like an angel's arrow (I am yours entirely)

[louise & dave]
I remember last night's dream
Could it be you're one of me
I've been waiting
Will you risk it all with me?

current addiction

been listening to this song over and over and over again & still can't get enough of it. luv it!

new order - krafty


Some people get up at the break of day
Gotta go to work before it gets too late
Sitting in a car and driving down the road
It ain't the way it has to be

But that's what you do to earn your daily wage
That's the kind of world that we live in today
Isn't where you wanna be
And isn't what you wanna be

*chorus*

Give me one more day (one more day)
Give me another night (just another night)
I need a second chance (second chance)
This time I'll get it right (This time I'll get it right)

I'll say one last time (one last time)
I've got to let you know (I've got to let you know)
I've got to change your mind (I've got to change your mind)
I'll never let you go (I'll never let you go)

You've got to look at life the way it oughta be
Looking at the stars from underneath the tree
There's a world inside and a world out there
With that tv you just don't care

They've got violence, wars and killing too
All shrunk down in a two-foot tube
But out there the world is a beautiful place
With mountains, lakes and the human race
This is where I wanna be
And this is what I wanna do

Give me one more day (one more day)
Give me another night (just another night)
I need a second chance (second chance)
This time I'll get it right (This time I'll get it right)

I'll say one last time (one last time)
I've got to let you know (I've got to let you know)
I've got to change your mind (I've got to change your mind)
I'll never let you go (I'll never let you go)

Just give me one more chance (one more chance)
Give me another night (just another night)
With just one more day (one more day)
You know I'll get it right (You know I'll get it right)

I'll say one last time (one last time)
I've got to let you know (I've got to let you know)
If I could change your mind (If I could change your mind)
I'll never let you go (I'll never let you go)

back to campus

yay, tadi gue ke kampus lagi, meet some people & that's it, going back to home..:P. setelah 3 minggu gue ngga ke kampus, ngga kemana-mana, ngga online, palagi ngisi2 blog, hari jumat kemaren dokter gue sudah menyatakan gue sembuh, yay! :D. dan gue udah bisa beraktivitas seperti biasa. padahal sehari sebelum gue cek darah & ke dokter, gue udah deg2an, takut kalo hasil lab. gue ngga bagus & gue mesti bedrest lagi di rumah (aaaarghhh). untungnya pas jumat sore gue liat hasil lab, sgot & sgpt (fungsi hati) gue udah normal..:D. for more stories, ntar gue sambung lagi yak, got something to do...

time is running out

oh no.. april is almost over, what have i been doing in these past 4 months...??? *stress*. alamat 4,5 ni... huaaaa....:((

i would be good

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you

alanis morissette's that i would be good

paranoid

not this thing again... why me..? :|

my lips

ngga tau kenapa ya, dari hari selasa kemaren tiba2 bibir gue sariawan (lebih dari 1) & ngga sembuh2 sampe sekarang & bibir gue itu jadi merah2 karena kering. mungkin gara2 gue masih make lip balm yang gue beli 1,5 taun yang lalu kali ya..:P. pas hari selasa itu gue masih ngga mo ke dokter, karena gue pikir masih bisa diobatin sendiri pake salep khusus, setelah gue beli salepnya, gue obatin, kok ngga ngaruh ya..? padahal dulu kalo make salep ini sekali pake juga udah ilang sariawannya. tapi ini sampe 4 hari & bibir gue masih berasa kering juga. kayanya make lip balm juga ngga ngaruh, & seperti biasa, gue mulai berpikir yang aneh2 yg bikin gue tambah parno..:P. jadi sore ini gue mutusin untuk ke dokter, meskipun rada malu jg kalo ternyata ini emg cuma sariawan biasa..:P, kayanya penting banget gitu sampe gue ke dokter sgala :)). huehehe...udah ah.. curhat tentang bibirnya..

*aneh*

fiuh.. what a week... hehe... ngga sgitunya juga si..:P, tapi mayan bikin gue bingung sendiri. kynya kejadian yg gue alamin makin aneh aja..:D. well, i kinda enjoy spending time alone as long as my beloved friends will always be there for me.

last but not least, i wanna thank my good good friend for being there for me *again* after all what happened to both of us :)

setelah sekian lama...

wow.. kayanya udah lama banget ya gue ngga nulis di sini..
soo many things happened in these past 2 months, ngga berasa ya waktu lewat gitu aja. tapi critanya ntar2 aja kali ya..:P
anyway, gue cuma posting ni lagu, entah kenapa gue seneng banget ngehubungin lagu2 ma perasaan gue, biasanya gara2 itu gue jadi suka ma 1 lagu. my fellow incubus fan, if u read this, i hope u can get a clue of how i feel these days..;). so, here it is...


-incubus: the warmth-


I'd like to close my eyes and go numb
But there's a cold wind coming from
The top of the highest high rise today
It's not a breeze cuz it blows hard
Yes and it wants me to discard the
The humanity I know, watched the warmth blow away
...So don't let the world bring you down...
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So do you think I should adhere
To that pressing new frontier
And leave in my wake, a trail of fear
Should I hold my head up high
And throw a wrench and spokes by
I'm leaving the air behind me clear
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
Before you grow old

Hamster --> Anjing --> Pindah Rumah..:D

Di rumah gue lagi ada hamster ni... kmaren ade gue bawa dari sekolahnya, karena libur mayan lama, tu hamster dititipin ke ade gue. He's cute...! warna coklat muda & putih gitu. Pas gue elus2, taunya tiba2 di gigit, sial... gue kira hamster ngga bisa gigit, ternyata....
Maklum de, baru skr ada hamster di rmh gue :P. Kasian juga sih tu hamster, kandangnya kecil banget, kerjaannya tidur-makan-tidur-makan-dst.. ngga ada mainan apapun, kebayang ngga sih lo, kl lo jadi tu hamster... sengsara banget hidupnya. Truss, td mo dibeliin kandang yg lbh gede ma roda biar dia bisa main2, ternyata barito tutup, jadinya ke carrefour & di sana ngga ada. Untung di rmh masih ada kotak yang bisa dijadiin kandang hamster..Jdnya dia udah dpt kandang baru yg lbh gede.. :)

Speaking of pets, i just can't wait to move in to my new house, so i can have a dog...:D. Ntah knp gue pengen banget punya anjing, kynya lucu aja, bisa gue ajak main sekaligus jaga rumah, hehehe...:P.

Dan.. bokap gue akhirnya memutuskan untuk pindah bulan februari ini...:) fiuh.. akhirnya, setelah sekian lama yg "katanya gue mo pindah rumah", baru bln depan gue bisa pindah, pdhal sampe skr msh blm slesai lho...:D. But i think it's quite positive that we're *finally* gonna have to move in this february. Hihihi... just can't wait till the day comes..

First Post

Akhirnya setelah sekian lama gue bikin blog juga....:P. Tapi kayanya ngga bakal gue update tiap hari, cuma kalo lagi niaaat nulis, hehehe...